Feelings don’t care about your facts

One of the most interesting things about the strange phenomenon of Drag Queens becoming children’s entertainers is just how little disagreement there is. Just a few years ago – certainly when my own children were young enough to be the target audience – it just wasn’t a thing. And it would have been very hard to find anyone who would have thought it should be.

So, when libraries started to invite Drag Queens to read to small children, it just seemed like someone had made a mistake with the booking. Because we’re not talking about pantomime dames out of work after a Christmas run of Jack and the Beanstalk, we’re talking about men whose other job is very definitely in the “adult” sphere. If men called Flow Job or Copper Topp (don’t look it up – trust me, you don’t need to know what that is) were being employed as edutainers, it could only be because librarians hadn’t done their due diligence. And if taxpayers money was being spent on this, and councillors were supporting it, it must be because they didn’t have the full picture. Or so I assumed.

This, it turned out, was a mistake.

Not only are the librarians aware, but the councillors and often the parents know exactly who these men are and they’re perfectly relaxed about it.

It’s worse than that, actually. Even as the evidence mounts – and the drag queens are pretty open about their agenda – Drag Queen Story Hour apologists dig in and defend the whole circus.

Few of the safeguarding red flags are disputed. Sab Samuel still has an active Crowdfunder for Mermaids UK even though Mermaids UK are currently under investigation by the Charity Commission for safeguarding failures. That he was good friends with convicted child rapist Darren Moore is acknowledged. That drag queens are repeatedly turning out to be paedophiles is well reported.

Even the widely reported episode of Drag Queen Sharon le Grand telling children they should “open their legs” (it was a joke apparently) hasn’t dimmed enthusiasm.

The drag queen told the audience: ‘We need to teach our children to open their hearts, teach our children to open their minds... and to teach our children to open their legs.’

What in the world is going on?

If you’ve not read anything by Jonathan Haidt, I thoroughly recommend The Righteous Mind – it’s one of those life changing books that helps makes sense of so much. Because this situation isn’t really about evidence at all. It’s about emotions and feelings.

We’re all looking at exactly the same events going on in libraries and although there are claims and counter-claims about the extent to which drag queens are sexual, the educational value of the events and so on, broadly speaking the facts are not in doubt. Sab Samuel says he’s there “for the queer kids” and speaks openly of children “coming out” to him as same-sex attracted in a clear breach of safeguarding. The costumes are what they are.

And we all have an emotional reaction to this.

Some of us see children being indoctrinated, a sexualised parody of women, the blurring of the sex binary, introducing the LGBTQ+ to babies, claiming to bring diversity and inclusion through a cookie cutter show.

Others see fun, rainbow and glitter, children being entertained, the drag queens doing something to help with the acceptance of LGB people. Something that’s morally valuable and sticks it to the bigots. What’s not to like?

Back to Jonathan Haidt. His contention is that while we all consider ourselves to be deeply rational beings who make considered decisions (especially about the welfare of our children), this is not at all how we operate. We don’t first look at all the facts and then decide what we support or do not support. Instead, we make emotional decisions aligned with our moral code first and having done so we’re really good at defending those decisions and choices.

Consider how good we are at making New Year’s resolutions. We’ll stop drinking. We’ll go to the gym. Instead of buying a coffee on the way to work and we’ll take one with us in that new thermal cup we got for Christmas. How easily we rationalise why we simply had to break those resolutions. I was too tired to go to the gym! I don’t have time to make coffee in the morning! It was someone’s birthday – of course I had to have a drink!

When faced with DQSH, we will certainly have an emotional response – how could we not? It’s fascinating, transgressive, sexual and involves children. But the nature of that response will depend on what we already think about a whole range of topics. Some already have an opinion on Gender Ideology or cross-dressing. Some will want to be considered transgressive or pushing at the boundaries of societal norms. Others are frightened of being thought bigoted and many will have been coached by Diversity & Inclusion training at work. And a lot of people have been softened up by RuPaul.

Taking your own children to DQSH is the ultimate signal to friends and colleagues of a person’s position because our children are so precious to us. I’m reminded of John Gummer encouraging his daughter to eat a beefburger in 1990 to prove that British beef could be safely eaten even as evidence of the BSE crisis was growing.

Those who support Drag Queen Story Hour despite all the bad press – the Town Councillors who approve the funding, the librarians who make the bookings, the parents who take their children – aren’t going to suddenly change their mind no matter what new evidence is provided. Their minds are made up. Emails that point to safeguarding concerns aren’t received as additional information for consideration, but are more likely to be seen as an attack on the integrity of the recipient.

This doesn’t mean there’s nothing to be done, though. Gathering facts, evidence, stories and pictures is massively important for the waverers, the onlookers, those who haven’t yet made up their minds. Many people will instinctively feel that there’s a problem without being able to articulate why. It’s for them that we write letters of complaint, explain our concerns, send the emails, present evidence of safeguarding issues.

Just below the surface, an almighty safeguarding scandal is brewing that will shift the public discourse. In the meantime, it’s vital we continue to arm those who want to push back and continue to provide them with reasons to do so.